French toast, Fiascoes, and Freedom

Yesterday I made french toast for breakfast.  For someone who really enjoys being in the kitchen and trying new things as much as I do, making french toast should have just been a normal thing….The truth of the matter is, I have basically been avoiding french toast for well over 20 years unless you count the two absolute fiascoes when I attempted to make it when my boys were little, but I don’t think the soggy, drippy, wet bread would have even fit in to a french toast category.

I started thinking about french toast in October…no kidding…I am a slow mover.  Finally one cold Saturday morning in January I got the courage to make it.  When I first thought of it back in the fall, I started asking my self questions about why I hadn’t made it and these were the things that came to mind…  I loved when my mom would make french toast when I was little.  I am not easily intimidated in the kitchen.  I love to try new things and don’t have a problem reading a recipe or making things up as I go, so why had I avoided offering my family sweet, cinnamonny, eggy, bread for breakfast?  The answer was the beginning of recognizing  some cold hard facts about myself.  I had been living scared and the reason was based on a past failure that I just wouldn’t let go…Now, just know, I have failed at a LOT of things in the kitchen and other rooms of my home and many other areas of my life…I want to start looking at these things as opportunities to learn to do something better next time as opposed to a failure because when you decide as a young mom with three little boys under 4 that you are a failure at making french toast, it might take you a while to get over it and you might start to believe lies about yourself in other areas of your life.

I had almost decided in the late Nov, early Dec when I started thinking of my word for 2014 that I would just skip a word for this year until it seemed that no matter what book I was reading, what Pinterest board I was perusing, or what verses came to mind, the word courage just kept leaping off the page or screen at me!  Courage was what I lacked to make french toast, I had been living like the cowardly lion and was in a place of frustration feeling like my feet were bound and there would be no moving forward.  There were several specific areas that I could see this lack of bravery at work and I realized that I had to allow God to change me in 2014.  I don’t choose my word of the year as a resolution but to lead me through the year in an area of character growth or quality that I feel like I am lacking in. On a daily basis, I ask myself what would courage do in this situation. I love the quote I read today that said, “You have a choice to make.  You can make this your excuse or you can make this your story.”

Rewind to a day in January and I am at Aldi…for some reason bread was 19 cents a loaf….I decided that day that I WILL MAKE FRENCH TOAST!  So early on Saturday morning, I gathered all the ingredients, set up my work station and proceeded.  One by one, as kids staggered down the steps and to the table, they each were very blessed by their breakfast(except for one, but she is a picky little thing) Little did they know that Courage had made their breakfast that day and I am trusting that courage will do many things in and through me this year, that I could have never done without it.

What lie are you still believing?  What things are you or your family missing out on because you are living scared?  Will You let this be your excuse or make this YOUR story?